Sunday, 13 May 2007

You've Got Mail

I've been doing a lot of emailing these last few days. It's a hard life, isn't it? I try and make my emails short, courteous and to the point. I have never sent out spam or mass market rubbish.

Yet still I get more than my fair share of these nuisances. Today I received 20 offers to purchase Viagra and Cialis, to help me with my ED (Erectile Dysfunction) and PE (Premature Ejaculation). Not that I suffer from ED or PE but that doesn't stop these morons from sending me offers and suggestions to help with the problem.

I've tried writing to the original drug-dealers/emailers, asking them to stop. But that doesn't help. I even told one of these kindly pill-pushers that I don't suffer from PE yet and, ironically, their offer of help had "come too soon."

And still they send me more emails.

Not that I've got anything against medicines to help with problems of the cheeky parts.

But one of the spam/emails that I've received several times over the past few weeks has disconcerted me. This is an illustrated advert for a penis patch. I'm not sure what a penis patch is. Usually, I see the word penis, make sure it's not an email from my mother, and then hit the delete button.

But it's the picture in this one that freaked me out.

Obviously these people are trying to sell some sort of patch that improves the length/girth resillience of a penis. I've got nothing against that. Hell! I've never had anything against anyone's penis. Never. But this shows a line drawing of the cartilege and erectile tissue beneath the skin.

In short, it looks like a peeled penis.

Call me old fashioned, and maybe I should have read the unwanted advert in closer depth, but at first glance this spam looks like I'm being offered the chance to buy a product that will peel my penis.

Sometimes, the words "no thanks" simply don't say enough.