Monday, 7 May 2007


My mother always told me, "If you can't say something nice, then keep your big f***ing mouth shut." I'm paraphrasing here. She wasn't always so erudite. But the sentiment has remained with me throughout the years. It's a sentiment I always keep in mind whenever I'm reviewing books.

This isn't the same as praising books and ignoring the faults. Most books I review have something in them that merits the cover price, or I simply don't review them. If it's strong in one area but week in another, I'll mention this. Readers are entitled to have some sort of idea about what they're buying. But, if there is a problem with a book I'm reviewing, I try to mention the flaw without being rude, crude or scathing.

That said, I do enjoy the occasional cleverly worded insult. The often used phrase, "I shall waste no time reading this..." always makes me grin. But I don't understand the mentality of people who pan books simply for the sake of panning of them.

As you may have guessed, I've just come across an unfavourable review for one of my pseudonyms. This one was on one of the wonderful Amazon sites and relates to one of my first titles. The critic has said that it fails in "...spelling and gramar..."

Dear critic: please make a sentence that includes the following three words: pot, kettle & black.

There's a certain degree of irony in having my spelling and "gramar" berrated. It makes me feel as though I've received a low mark on a term paper that's annoted, "muss tri hardar."

Not that I'm going to let it spoil my mood or interfere with my plans for the day.

Eye ham know of too revue sum mower bucks. Hand eye mite evian use ass spell chequer.